I have just cancelled the lease for apartment – it will end in May.
That I am going to leave has been clear for quite a while now, but still, I procrastinated considerably on sending that email. It seems I am more afraid of this step than I’d like to admit to myself. It’s not the moving as such of course, I have moved five times in the last seven years, and while I don’t enjoy it, I got used to it and can almost consider myself an expert.
No, I think it’s the fact that I don’t know what will await me on the other side. So far, there was always at least a job waiting for me, and almost always people I knew beforehand. In all cases I have been received very friendly, and people have always tried to help me settle in as quickly as possible.
No such thing this time. It’s just me, myself and I. The friends I have in Japan may not be able to provide as much help as I may need.
Giving up already? No way. Every time I pushed through my initial fears, the outcome was well worth the pain, and I never regretted persevering. Still, that voice is nagging inside my head “You give up all your security, so what if…?” It’s not easy to make that coward stop…