Some time ago, I complained about the amount of bulk mail I receive, especially those from real estate agents. But every now and then, something extremely hilarious finds its way into my mailbox. Here is one of those highlights I just had to share:

flyer on breast enhancements - detailThose are only two of the … ahem … tasteful images on a flyer I received regarding breast enlargements. Mind you, the ad was not for a plastic surgeon, but for something far more esoteric. Another photo showed a young woman, towel clad, being massaged with a hand-held apparatus emitting bright light and looking suspiciously similar to the computer mouse I am using right now…

Anyway, the advertisement promised that within only 90 minutes of treatment your size will have increased and any potential sagging will have been eliminated. The procedure seems to be as follows: After an interview, where you are probably asked about your expertise regarding computer mice and other delicate questions, you first get a back and then a … umm … front massage with the device mentioned above, and in the end you are allowed to relax with your boobs covered in something … stimulating, I guess. That is all it takes for your bust size to increase by two cups! Except for 22.000 YEN, of course.

I cannot help wondering how plastic surgeons can still be in business after this amazing breakthrough. But maybe 2 cups up is all that’s possible, and the procedure cannot be repeated indefinitely. Then again, it’s a start.

Interesting also the target groups: Women in their 20s would want a size-up, those in their 30s want their boobs bigger and more perky, while women in their 40s just want them lifted off the ground. Anything older than that is not mentioned anymore; those women have obviously resigned and are keeping away from public view in order not to offend.

Anyway, I found this whole thing very enlightening. I am looking forward to receiving a similar advertisement – including pictures – for the enhancement of male appendages. Somehow I have the impression that massages will have a beneficial effect there too…

PS: If anybody is curious about details of the procedure, I am willing to go and sacrifice myself. Any sponsors, please come forward now!